Lately, I have become quite oblivious to things surrounding me. Sometimes... I just sit back and watch things happen in a blur. I like to think of it like you're ejecting yourself from a plane and flying down quite quickly to the ground. When you hit the ground is when you're faced with reality.
So far, my friendship groups in school are changing quite rapidly, although some of us are still friends, we are either growing apart or we're getting closer to new people. It's life, I guess? Change is good, one change I'm not looking forward too is leaving school, adventuring into a new learning environment and fighting to be noticed. Today, seeming as it's getting closer to when we actually leave school, we had to write a yearbook quote. When our form tutor told us, as you could probably tell.. we all just stared, our minds blank and some even had their mouths open to show 'how fast their brain was actually working' - the last sentence was sarcasm.. - I wouldn't be surprised if the occasional fly flew around their head and in their mouth. Once we were all given paper we jumped right too it. Some people put things like "In ten years time I want to be in a job I enjoy or have a family." Others put something along the lines of "The best moment at school was the year camp." both quite good ideas, however me being me I wanted to live by something that wasn't so specific and narrow so I could have a wide range of choices.
"In ten years time I want to have a positive attitude to new opportunities my school has shown me to look at some things in a new light. When you come across a problem, look on the positive side, even if it means learning from your mistakes."
Not going to lie, I was quite happy with that quote. For me, it's an easy thing to live by, yet it's a rule that covers basically anything.
Positive attitudes
So, what does this have to do with the conflict of friendships? Maybe it's something as simple as being put in a position, that you may not enjoy, and finding a route out. However, accepting that in some cases you may be in the wrong is a way to test your maturity. Saying sorry sometimes isn't difficult but it looks like you 'admit defeat,' look at it how you want but this is a road to positive thinking. Keeping a balance between people, growing apart and growing closer are ways to learn how to walk in another's shoes. Taking one step at a time to reach the 'finish line' that could be a start to a new opportunity that may just be something you enjoy. I'm currently at the point of trying to find a route out of difficult situation between friendships and friends that I have known for years, whilst trying to form new friendships with different people surrounding me. With my lack of experiences within these areas, as you could tell, I'm finding it quite challenging. Maybe, time will be on my side and I could learn from my mistakes as a teenager. This could be taken into my future to know what caused the trigger to blow and how to avoid being put back into something along the lines of this. That's part of growing up, learning from mistakes, even falling on your face is classed as moving forward... even if it is slightly painful when you hit your nose, it's only a matter of time before things organise themselves out again. Prepare yourself with a sword and armour and you could face the world with only a one person army, not that you need an army. Who knows, maybe people will join you along the way of this extraordinary adventure.
~Soph.
Valentines day for me is like any other normal weekend, sitting at home, eating crackers whilst watching cute films about the 'Perfect' couple, -I have to admit for about 5 years.. I've been dreaming that I could be the main character in one of these films, now.. not so much. If anything I would want my story to be unique, just different from all the spontaneous films you see. - waiting for mum to come in from her date with her partner, then fill me in on how much fun she had. I love her going out, she comes back home full of life and has so much to tell me about where they went, what they had and all the details about what they ordered.
On Valentines day.. I'm often like the Grinch but on a different day. This is probably because I'm often dreaming of someone to sweep me off my feet, bring me dozens of red roses and multiple boxes of chocolates. Someone to spoil me like in the old fashioned fairy tale, the knight in shining armor saves the princess with the long flowing hair, blah, blah, blah. I'm such a soppy person at times but some things
In reality.. I go out with the girls and have a small little - what we would call - romantic meal together, go round each other's houses and watch soppy films whilst commenting on how unrealistic the plot to the film is. That day would be an excuse to eat as much sweet stuff as possible, like Christmas.. but with hearts instead of snowmen, teddies instead of Christmas trees, Red roses instead of mistletoe. Looking at it, it's probably has nothing like Christmas, the only relation I can make is the food. Warm, homely meals, cooked by loved ones.
This year, seeming as it's a Thursday, I'm going to be watching a caberet at my school, at the weekend, go out for a nice romantic meal with one of my girlies, at lunch.. Unless, something pops up - hint, hint, wink, wink. -
Anyway, heart shaped cookies anyone? No? More for me then.
~Soph.
My life as a sixteen year old normally consists of going out with friends. Shopping, walking, street surfing, bowling, etc.
However, with my being out later than my, what I would call, over-protective mother, it normally means I'm restricted a few weekends and I'm forcefully pressured into doing jobs, ironing, hovering, Tidying cupboards, cooking, cleaning the bathroom - the worst job, I would say, I could possibly do. Having all these jobs piled on my life could be seen as positive and negative in ways.
It's mainly negative however, who would enjoy doing jobs like that? I don't mind a few jobs like cooking, this is a time when I can zone out and listen to music, whilst creating the next meal Heston would love to eat.. I would think. However who would enjoy tidying? Unless, you're starring on "how clean is your house" or you're Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie, they both look as if they enjoy being shocked by the day to day mess and horrors people's homes are actually in.
The positive things about it is the fact you can have people judge your home and mentally point things out about you, sorry.. that's probably negative again. Well, not everyone does that, I'm sure. Knowing that things are in order and people can actually come around and enjoy themselves without the thought of dvds, coursework, makeup or even clothes getting in the way or being trampled on. Once I leave home, I'm going to have to do eveything for myself, unless I employ a maid to clean everything after me. The chances of me being able to afford anything/anyone like that.. probably, nil.
Once I leave home - I'm dreading it. - I know, for a fact, I will have friends staying over most nights. This will mean, most my mornings will consist of tidying up after them and putting everything that was in order but now on the floor, back into the normal place it should be. How do I know this will happen? I'm a messy person at times, my room goes from being spotless to being a bombsite in under about 10 seconds. This would be due to me loosing something... I would normally be able to find... when my room is messy. Having this curse of being a "Messy person" rubs off onto my friends. When my friends come around to stay, we have food and drinks in my room whilst gossiping about anything. By the end of the night, my room is stacked up to the top with: uneaten food, half drunk drinks, plates, forks, knives and the occasional spoons. - whilst writing this, I got a lecture about eating ice cream with forks by one of the stranger/strangest girl in my class. Are you as confused as I am right now? I have to say, she's original. -
For now, I'm happy at home. I will most likely do the jobs without complaining - Not a promise, you can probably tell, I moan about pretty much most things. -
Maybe, I'm just a negative person, think too much or even just plain lazy. Who knows, either way I'm happy.
~Soph.
Winter is the time of year I particularly dread. The cold, the snow, the lack of transport caused by the snow, the dark afternoons, the ice - mainly the ice.
The other day I had a few of my closer friends around. To start with it was going to be around 10+ people until the snow basically dropped from the sky in a blanket at around 9am and covered anything, I mean anything.
In the morning one of my friends came up to my house, slipping on the small amount of snow that was already increasing every second. Once he was inside, in the.. what I would normally call warm house, however the actual temperature inside was only about four degrees warmer than outside, we started getting ready to trek across town to go to another friends house, mainly to watch a few films to keep us entertained and slightly amused, although what we did resort to watching was one of the most sickening and gory films I've ever seen, I don't want to watch anything like it again, ever.
Later that day, after watching the horrific film, we went out sledging. Dangerous plan. Looking back at what actually happened and how many bruises we had between us, it was fun but whether or not the pain inflicted on each of us was worth it.. a whole different story, that we all aren't really sure about right now...
As you can see by the look on my face I wasn't happy. I tried - and failed - to surf down the double hill, twice. The first time I fell on my hip and the second time I had two choices, stay on the sledge and hit a poor innocent child running around at the bottom of the hills in his all-in-one black and yellow.. snow suit, - I want one, not the actual child, a snow suit. - or I could jump and sustain another injury to my knee. Obviously, I jumped. I turned around to find my friend clinging to her phone laughing, it took me about a second to realise she was filming me, the threat of it being sent to "You've Been Framed" is still on my mind. The four of us were outside for roughly around 5-6 hours. The only positive about being out this long was actually noticing the shape of each snowflake. The snowflakes landed on our jumpers, jackets, leggins and hair and we noticed how big and actually, how pretty they were, As you can see one or two below..
Obviously, nearly at risk of hypothermia and frostbite, we went for a walk, creating what we hoped would create more of a blood circulation around our fingers and toes. We walked along a road and down a quite steep hill. Parading along, with the sledge just behind me, I was chatting away to my friend, getting slightly distracted by a car trying and slowly failing to get up a hill. The sledge was slowly creeping up to me, increasing its speed until it was actually under my foot. As soon as I put my foot down, I went flying. Throwing my phone in the air, I landed on my derrière. One of my friends made a dive to save my phone whilst the other was too busy trying to keep balance on the snow and control her laughing. This is the main reason why I would class snow/ice as horrible. I wouldn't say there was anything positive about that
The next day, looking at the extent of the damage I actually caused to my own body.. I discovered well over ten tender spots, the main one being my back and bottom. Luckily, thanks to my friend, my phone is fully intact, receiving only a few, barely visible, microscopic scratches.
Currently, I'm in bed waiting for another bed of snow to turn up and hopefully only emerge for food and water tomorrow, I know that won't happen as I will be forced into going outside and actually doing something on a Sunday, please help me from this torture. I DON'T LIKE SNOW, unless I'm in the warm.. looking outside... covered in blankets.. with vital supplies: A movie, junk food and water with a hot water bottle, in that case I love it. Therefore I must say I have mixed and undecided feelings about it, what do you think?
~Soph.
Hope.
Hope is often an emotion used everyday. Hoping that everyday was better than the last, hoping that your family will always be beside you, no matter what, hope that one day you can stand up for something that means a lot to you.
Watching one show almost reduced me into tears. This program was Extreme Makeover - Home Edition. It sounds silly; once you watched this one program you will understand exactly what hit me. This program was about HIV/Aids. The lady that had adopted children was surprised, she knew that two of her adopted sons had aids and their brothers were clear of this disease. This isn't what hit me, knowing their story was what did it for me. It was like a fireball full of emotion. Hearing only a glimpse of what they go through day to day and coming out stronger than ever. Their teachers wouldn't let the other students go into the same toilet as them in case they catch it. They wouldn't be invited out by "friends" because they would be scared that they could catch it. Hearing this made me disgusted and disappointed in some kind of sense, the teachers are teaching the students something that is completely wrong. HIV and aids cannot be passed by any of those things.
They explained that people wouldn't want to be near them, hug them or even talk to them in case they catch something. This was putting a strain on their family, it seemed like they weren't welcome.
Halfway through this program they were creating/making an holiday place for people in the summer, suffering with HIV/AIDS. People that go there get the chance to meet people in the same situation, having the same problems or just a place to escape and have fun without the reminder of it.
After the hut was made, a small boy stood up in front of a small fire, the people surrounding it were HIV positive or had AIDS or people that know/knew someone that is affected by this. So, this small boy stood up, he opened his mouth and poured out his heart. In one hand was a candle, in the other was a microphone.
Once he opened his mouth everyone was silent. He said: "My mum is HIV positive. People can't catch HIV from hugging, touching, speaking or even breathing near someone. My mum is and always will be my mum. I won't call her anything else but mum, she deserves the best and I won't stop hugging her, I won't stop speaking to her, I love her and I always will."
Discriminating against someone because of what they have isn't going to make you feel better. Their life. It's their life and I'm sure if they could chose what they had and what they didn't, I reckon they wouldn't want the disease. Knowing that someone could be judging them, being at risk of having no friends or anyone to talk too. How would you feel in their position? No one and I mean No One should be put in that position and if I could, I would want to listen to their story and be by their side as much as I can. The lady that adopted those four unique sons I would see as a role model. She wanted the world for those children. Her house was breaking and she was at the point of giving up, the desperate plea to Extreme Makeover was her last chance, they saved and changed all of their lives. It would be an unbelievable experience to be a part of that it's changed the way I see things. They were on the brink of giving up but they have been given, like the lady said "not only a foundation but a foundation of hope"
Hope can be just as strong as the strongest medicine there is out there.
~Soph.
New years. What comes to mind when someone says those two words... Party? Fireworks? Family gathering? Signing? The good ol' Alcohol? Or the strangest resolutions?
All of those mixed together with the odd argument and/or injury is the best way to sum up our celebration of new years.
'Party' wouldn't be the best way to describe our house at new years, unless you call the four of us with the occasional visitor, party food, party drinks and the odd themed napkin. It sounds sad but it's actually quite enjoyable at times.
Fireworks? There's always the yearly show of the bright, beautiful and slightly bemusing fireworks. The Bright colours blur together creating a neon picture normally illuminating every nook and cranny within our living room. Normally the show blinds us for a second or two, after this we would normally mentally curse ourselves because we are left with a blind spot in our eye.
Family Gathering. Our family normally spends new years together, we either go round our cousin's for a few hours or they come to ours. During this time we get the chance to watch a film, have the family debate and the odd occasional injury like I mentioned before. - if the injury happened on Christmas, like it did this year, It's not really likely to happen on new years. Now that I've said it I've probably jinxed it.
The traditional singing of the song is never forgotten. My family always gets in a small circle, joins arms and starts belting out the song, the only problem is I don't know the words, normally I resort to half singing, half humming things that sound like the actual words of the song. I should really start to learn the real words to the song, but the only problem is... I will forget them within the space of a few minutes.
The good ol' Alcohol is normally drunk before new years, normally Christmas, however this year we have quite a lot left over. I'm not really fussed about the alcohol; I'm more concerned about the food. I will eat most of the food there is without complaint. My mother will normally shout at me because of how much I would eat, then I mentally kick myself because I would've broken my new years resolution in the space of 5 minutes.
New years resolution. The new years resolution is the excuse to start something for no reason at all. example: Dancing, joining the gym, loosing weight, start a new hobby or talent or just keep doing what you're doing. The oddest new years resolution I've heard so far would be: giving up crisps. - but it's a good idea due to how unhealthy they actually are. - Giving up Chocolate. - That would be impossible to me because I would get upset then feel even worse not being able to resort to one of my best friends, food. -
or, like my friend mentioned, learn elfish. - I don't quite know why you may want to do this but it actually appears quite nerdy yet pretty awesome. Can you imagine talking to your friends in a language very few know? Sounds so cool to be honest. We have a whole life plan set out to learn this, we were actually amazed when she said it and the idea sparked off into many different ideas, so we're nerdy. Yes, we like 'Lord of the Rings.' but we think it will be so fun to try.
My new years resolution this year would be join the gym and take up a Zumba class and eat less and take up more time writing and try harder on GCSE's and Get the best possible grades to my potential and do things for myself more often... hopefully, It's worth the try. The reason as to why I would like to join the gym is simply because I want to get more into shape whereas the reason I would like to join Zumba because I like the thought of a more upbeat dance something to be a challenge to work with. The rest of the resolutions? well, they would be to set my life up and give me the best possible advantage. Spending time on myself, giving me independence.
What would your resolution be? What would you do about it?
~Soph.
Art comes in many shapes, forms and sizes. It blows my mind and many others, I'm sure. I'm a complete sucker for art, things ranging from dance, singing or sculptures.
The reason why I love art isn't only because you can look at it and interpret it the way you want to or the way you actually see it, but you can also express any strong or hidden emotion in art.
The one form of art I love the best though would be tattoos. I'm not a fan of needles, in fact I hate them. However the art that comes out of the designs created by the artists simply stun me.
Below you can see a design of the Cheshire cat. The nuances within this design causes me to stop and examine every detail within the picture.
But what happens when art goes wrong?
People may fall over within dance or even the worse case fall off the stage but most injuries can be fixed. It's the same with singing and getting the notes wrong but you can soon sort yourself out and carry on. With tattoos they are permanent. People do go through regret and often question as to why they have got it, maybe the cause was to annoy someone or having a little alcohol.
So why get it or do it?
I think like any other art the stimulus has to have a true meaning to you, whether it's an action, a saying, a song or even an memory.
If I get a tattoo - that my mother would probably hate/despise - I would choose something that would remind me of my Grandma. It would mean a lot to me and remind me that she is always with me. I would probably pick a butterfly. The butterfly would be a symbol of freedom and being in control of my own wings. This would show that I'm able to reach things that I want by simply setting my mind to it, or in the butterflies case fly to it. The butterfly would be an outline of white and shaded using a variety of baby pinks. The colours are linked in with a nickname my grandma used to call me.
To this tattoo I would link in different things that remind me of my other family members. A vibrant coloured flower behind the butterfly for one of my grandads, he spent most of his hours in the garden caring for the flowers like they were small individual babies. A small steam engine would be another way to symbolise my other Grandad, as he loved them so much. My mother and aunties used to be taken along to small fairs full with engines and apparently he was fascinated by them.
Obviously, I would take the time to think about the perfect design and debate whether I should or not get it. If I did I would have to look at a variety of different designs that would hopefully be created by tattoo artists because my drawings can be a bit terrible at times... I would also need to think about the needles. If I don't get a tattoo, I would definitely want a large painting dedicated to them, it would be original hopefully to show each of them as the unique individuals that they were.
People have different opinions on tattoos and that is mine. What's your opinion, should they have a deeper meaning than what they are? Or should the art paint thousands of words in your head and be interpreted that way?
~ Soph.
