Traumas of leaving the door unlocked.

    Living life in the Ellwood's residence isn't exactly the whole 'Unicorns and Rainbows.' Arguments tend to spontaneously erupt out of no where, mostly in the morning due to no one actually being a typical 'morning person.' 
    This one particular argument occurred due to me not eating breakfast. - not the best habit in the world but still. - My brother walked out before all the drama happened, then my mother's partner, then mum and then me. We went into the car oblivious about the door still being unlocked. 

    Walking home on a Friday to find your door unlocked seemed like one of the scream movies. - Walking into the house to find the murderer with a scream mask running around the house after you. I think I may be watching too many movies.
    Naturally me and my friend opened the door and walked into the hallway very timidly. We checked the whole bottom floor and found nothing. I walked upstairs and found the flask I had left there in the morning. 
    Hearing a noise in the spare room I grabbed it using it as my only decent weapon and preparing myself to hit the intruder around the head as hard as I could - not that I would look scary. I mean, come on. A sixteen year old, with a blue flask holding it like a baseball bat. Terrifying? I doubt it.. 
    Walking into the spare room took me quite a long time, I wanted to check if my room had had any damage done to it, then my brother's room. Nothing appeared to be wrong so I walked into the spare room, I was confronted by my cat diving into a pillow case. Not only was it a bit of a downer and all my adrenalin going to waste, I also had to save the case from the clasp of my cat or she would turn it into shreds. 
    The evening went on, I cooked us dinner, fed the cats and we sang to a few songs on the radio. We were fine until we heard footsteps in the hallway, we never heard the door actually open or close. The door to the kitchen was pushed open and not going to lie, I basically screamed and shouted at the same time. All in the face of my aunt. This is the reason why I always, always lock the door and you may need to also, just so you don't have the same experience as us, or worse.
~ Soph.

Feel the burn.

    This weather and temperature isn't, in my eyes, particularly the best... because I'm always, always cold, it always takes me ages to warm up and look less like a walking ice cube. Walking home, - well.. speed walking, simply because my fingers and nose would be at the point of detaching themselves from my body. - I walked into my house to find no one home.

     So, like any good daughter, I tidied up. Putting all the dishes away and sorting out some Christmas decorations.

     I lit a few candles because I actually love them, scented of course. - I love the vanilla ones. - By 'a few' I mean about 30 all on the table.
     Naturally I sorted them out so they weren't all together; some of them went on the windowsill and on the table/desk. I had my hair down and lent over the table. - Not going to lie it was a bit of a disaster. - I singed about half of my fringe off; the smell of burning hung within the room. - I felt like screaming and throwing a hundred tantrums at once. If a family member walked in just then, they would've been verbally attacked.
     I inspected the damage to see if anything had changed. The ends of my hair was shriveled and curled beyond repair, from far away I doubt anyone would see it. The smell was stuck on my hair. Thank god for scented candles. The vanilla had slightly masked the burning scent.
     Next time, I will only have three candles alight, with a parent with me, just to be safe. Mainly so I don't burn the house down next time.
~ Soph.

Get out of bed, lazy. It's Monday.

     Lazy is a term normally used by my mother and a few of my friends, mainly aimed at me. Yes, I admit it, I'm lazy. I go through days when I generally don't see the point in getting up for something that you can get later. - this is mainly why my homework can be late either due to that or me being very unorganized.
     Yesterday wasn't one of the lazy days. I had quite a lot of energy, too much if I'm honest.
     Going through these sudden peaks in energy levels can be annoying; I never feel satisfied until I have done something to use up most of my energy. So, like normal I resort to dance. I'm sure everyone; including you has had the odd 'Disco Groove' to some of the cheesiest songs... when home alone. I often do this a lot. The thing is, I will do it to whatever song comes on the radio next, heart radio, of course. No, I don't listen to 'radio one', like around 98% of my friends do.
      Lazy days will always be the best though. Sitting in bed on a Sunday morning - Well, afternoon, depending on what time you actually emerge from the depths of your bed. - Knowing you don't have to do that much for the rest of the day. Wearing Joggers and an unattractively large top isn't normally the highlight of the day, it would defiantly be the excuse for eating mostly anything edible, that has been bought from the loving supermarket and stored in your cupboard, then laying down on the floor whilst watching television because you may feel too full to move. Once this has started I never, ever, ever want a Monday to come along and spoil it, knowing you have to wait another full week until you can go through the small bit of paradise you went though just then.
       Don't make me go back, please!" is the morning statement I repeatedly say to my mother as she shouts at me to hurry up. - It's either getting a lift early or walking to school in a temperature of -14392 and winds that would most likely push me over due to energy and the amount I lack in the mornings. - The early morning alarm will always cause my eyes to glue together, my legs refuse to emerge from the warmth and comfort of my bed. I will press the 'Snooze' button on my phone repeatedly, hoping that the extra three minutes will help me have enough energy to actually face the cold that is bearing over me. This is the reason as to why about 82% of the worlds population never want to get up, mainly due to it being Monday. Dreaded Monday. The day that is loathed by nearly everyone, including me.
~ Soph.

Strumming away with the fairies.

   I am always thinking about all the songs I listen to and mainly one of my favorites; A Day To Remember - If It Means Alot To You.
   I always dream about being up on a stage with one clear spot light, a stool, a guitar and singing my heart out. - Saying this, I doubt it would happen due to my lack of singing skills and confidence, but a girl can dream right?
   I have never really gone a day without the thought of playing either the guitar or the piano. The only thing I can really manage to play on the piano is "Mary had a little lamb" and even then, I normally get some of the notes wrong. I would love to be able to play a variety of songs, mainly Coldplay or Adele. This would give me an excuse of pouring all my anger into something more expressing, even cure me of my spare time and the lack of things I have to fill it with.
   I'm sure there is something you are dreaming of right now, wishing you could do something that would fill your time up, thinking about all the energy you may use up doing it and even the emotions you would use along side it.
    When and if I have children, I will force them into playing something along the lines of the piano and/or the guitar, simply to get them to have the most opportunity possible, not saying that I didn't, because I did. As a child, I always visualized music lessons as unnecessary torture. Boy, was I wrong. There's always the odd day dreams, where I can be strumming away with the fairies.
~ Soph.

Unanswered questions.

   Sitting at my table whilst listening to Michael Jackson, eating chocolate buttons, drinking a glass of Sprite, surfing the internet, a sudden thought popped into mind. - No, a bit of 'MJ' never hurt anyone and music normally helps me with concentration.
    Is being 'selfish' a positive or a negative feeling? Two people out of the three I asked, said it was a negative feeling, however they didn't give a reason as to why. The one person who said it was a positive feeling said "Because sharing things doesn't always makes you happy." What would you say? Personally I would agree with saying it's positive feeling.

    "What is she on about?" Is what may be running through your mind, look at it this way; how much can you give to someone with out regret? Everything? Half of what you have? A few pounds a month? We all want to give something to someone who needs it more but when is enough, enough?
    Someone told me a quote today that had supported my views; Charity begins at home.
    In my perspective making someone else happy or listening to their problems, knowing you can help them out, can improve my mood instantly. But sometimes I have the problem of never knowing when enough, is enough. I wouldn't say depression is what comes to my mind. I would say my energy levels are slowly decreasing until I don't .know what to do with myself. A lot like a battery. There are people, who I would describe as 'Black holes' they suck all the energy out of you until you are completely depleted and drained.
     I've been told off time and time again by my mother's partner. He repeatedly tells me that I have to work on myself before I try to help others. Getting dragged into all the gossip at school is perplexing. If you help the person who may be seen as the victim, it can cause more drama and debates that will cause you to get dragged in.
     Is this a way to be accepted and loved by everyone or are we all living off the drama of life? Where did we learn to act like this, be like this or see like this? Where does it come from? Who taught us and how will we ever find out?
      Confronting the past often seems difficult but it helps us move on in the future. Maybe it's time to change our thoughts, who knows.
   ~ Soph.

Hopeless thoughts.

   Growing up as a little girl near Christmas is the most memorable thing. Putting my hideously wrapped presents, that my mother had tried to improve, under the brightly lit Christmas tree. The songs would be sung at the top of our voices made us all laugh due to our horrific, make-your-ears-bleed singing.
   Christmas morning would be the same time and time again. Getting up at 4/5am opening the stockings, eating the chocolate and playing with whatever toy Santa had given me, mainly small dolls and the odd worm on a wire. The best thing of Christmas though was waking up my mother and dad. Jumping on their bed, alongside my brother, used to annoy them to the brink of hitting us with pillows until we calmed down. There was always that hope for snow, just to complete the "White Christmas."
    Home Alone or The Grinch normally took our mind of it though. Everyone has their family favorite Christmas film. Ours is most likely Home Alone, than anything else due to it's simple amusingness. The smug little boy always makes everyone smile, if it doesn't, you're lying.
    Soon after I was 8/9 my hopes and dreams came crashing down. Someone had told me Santa wasn't real. It must be a lie. Trying to prove it wrong was the hardest. Growing older knowing that "Magic twist" had slowly started to decrease. What am I going to do now? Hope and Pray? Stay up all night and keep pinching myself till he falls down our closed up chimney? - I don't know how he gets in a house without a chimney. He must be like a wizard of some sort, graduated from Hogwarts obviously.
    Maybe he is real and those children just wanted to scatter my thoughts and confuse me. Well, we all know that Christmas gets better every year. Hopefully the Christmas dinner will replace that "Magic Twist." We will soon find out.
~ Soph.

Just a bit of fun.

   Today was eventful. To start it off, I came downstairs only to have an argument with my mother. She was in an interesting mood to say the least.
    Thundering around the house sorting out everything to throw away that doesn't fit or that anyone has grown out of. Launching books, clothes, boxes and almost a computer monitor down the stairs, I went to help, ditching one of my friends for the day. - I'm terribly sorry to that person.
    Her mood got progressively better going from a "I will snap at any moment" to a "I may or may not coincidently throw a pair of socks at your head."

    Towards the end of the night, after we finished our dinner, we resorted to trying a bit of yoga. I downloaded a few apps on my mum's partner's Blackberry pad and also seeming as I picked up a few moves over the last few months, mainly from the Wii Fit, I chose to show her and her partner some. Going through the routine of stretching with her partner first, he didn't seem to get the hang of it, however I never really heard any complaint apart from where the stretching was happening. - mostly all the wrong areas. This actually appeared to make my mother more optimistic to trying the routine. Starting with some of the most basic moves, she looked genuinely happy and finding it a bit easy - until we came to holding our ankles. The groans and the odd insults mainly the term "Bastard" thrown at her partner caused me to start laughing. The fact that she was struggling after that with lifting her upper torso off the floor added to this. I have to say I enjoyed seeing her in a bit of a mood whilst trying to be "calm" to do the moves.
    I think my mother may take yoga up as a hobby in her spare time, however I don't think she will be doing it any time soon in front of me and her partner, as it appears to make her stress levels rise. I highly recommend trying to get your parents to try some yoga, you may have the enjoyment of seeing them struggle to pull a move for once. Enjoy.
~ Soph.