Winter is the time of year I particularly dread. The cold, the snow, the lack of transport caused by the snow, the dark afternoons, the ice - mainly the ice.
The other day I had a few of my closer friends around. To start with it was going to be around 10+ people until the snow basically dropped from the sky in a blanket at around 9am and covered anything, I mean anything.
In the morning one of my friends came up to my house, slipping on the small amount of snow that was already increasing every second. Once he was inside, in the.. what I would normally call warm house, however the actual temperature inside was only about four degrees warmer than outside, we started getting ready to trek across town to go to another friends house, mainly to watch a few films to keep us entertained and slightly amused, although what we did resort to watching was one of the most sickening and gory films I've ever seen, I don't want to watch anything like it again, ever.
Later that day, after watching the horrific film, we went out sledging. Dangerous plan. Looking back at what actually happened and how many bruises we had between us, it was fun but whether or not the pain inflicted on each of us was worth it.. a whole different story, that we all aren't really sure about right now...
As you can see by the look on my face I wasn't happy. I tried - and failed - to surf down the double hill, twice. The first time I fell on my hip and the second time I had two choices, stay on the sledge and hit a poor innocent child running around at the bottom of the hills in his all-in-one black and yellow.. snow suit, - I want one, not the actual child, a snow suit. - or I could jump and sustain another injury to my knee. Obviously, I jumped. I turned around to find my friend clinging to her phone laughing, it took me about a second to realise she was filming me, the threat of it being sent to "You've Been Framed" is still on my mind. The four of us were outside for roughly around 5-6 hours. The only positive about being out this long was actually noticing the shape of each snowflake. The snowflakes landed on our jumpers, jackets, leggins and hair and we noticed how big and actually, how pretty they were, As you can see one or two below..
Obviously, nearly at risk of hypothermia and frostbite, we went for a walk, creating what we hoped would create more of a blood circulation around our fingers and toes. We walked along a road and down a quite steep hill. Parading along, with the sledge just behind me, I was chatting away to my friend, getting slightly distracted by a car trying and slowly failing to get up a hill. The sledge was slowly creeping up to me, increasing its speed until it was actually under my foot. As soon as I put my foot down, I went flying. Throwing my phone in the air, I landed on my derrière. One of my friends made a dive to save my phone whilst the other was too busy trying to keep balance on the snow and control her laughing. This is the main reason why I would class snow/ice as horrible. I wouldn't say there was anything positive about that
The next day, looking at the extent of the damage I actually caused to my own body.. I discovered well over ten tender spots, the main one being my back and bottom. Luckily, thanks to my friend, my phone is fully intact, receiving only a few, barely visible, microscopic scratches.
Currently, I'm in bed waiting for another bed of snow to turn up and hopefully only emerge for food and water tomorrow, I know that won't happen as I will be forced into going outside and actually doing something on a Sunday, please help me from this torture. I DON'T LIKE SNOW, unless I'm in the warm.. looking outside... covered in blankets.. with vital supplies: A movie, junk food and water with a hot water bottle, in that case I love it. Therefore I must say I have mixed and undecided feelings about it, what do you think?
~Soph.
Hope.
Hope is often an emotion used everyday. Hoping that everyday was better than the last, hoping that your family will always be beside you, no matter what, hope that one day you can stand up for something that means a lot to you.
Watching one show almost reduced me into tears. This program was Extreme Makeover - Home Edition. It sounds silly; once you watched this one program you will understand exactly what hit me. This program was about HIV/Aids. The lady that had adopted children was surprised, she knew that two of her adopted sons had aids and their brothers were clear of this disease. This isn't what hit me, knowing their story was what did it for me. It was like a fireball full of emotion. Hearing only a glimpse of what they go through day to day and coming out stronger than ever. Their teachers wouldn't let the other students go into the same toilet as them in case they catch it. They wouldn't be invited out by "friends" because they would be scared that they could catch it. Hearing this made me disgusted and disappointed in some kind of sense, the teachers are teaching the students something that is completely wrong. HIV and aids cannot be passed by any of those things.
They explained that people wouldn't want to be near them, hug them or even talk to them in case they catch something. This was putting a strain on their family, it seemed like they weren't welcome.
Halfway through this program they were creating/making an holiday place for people in the summer, suffering with HIV/AIDS. People that go there get the chance to meet people in the same situation, having the same problems or just a place to escape and have fun without the reminder of it.
After the hut was made, a small boy stood up in front of a small fire, the people surrounding it were HIV positive or had AIDS or people that know/knew someone that is affected by this. So, this small boy stood up, he opened his mouth and poured out his heart. In one hand was a candle, in the other was a microphone.
Once he opened his mouth everyone was silent. He said: "My mum is HIV positive. People can't catch HIV from hugging, touching, speaking or even breathing near someone. My mum is and always will be my mum. I won't call her anything else but mum, she deserves the best and I won't stop hugging her, I won't stop speaking to her, I love her and I always will."
Discriminating against someone because of what they have isn't going to make you feel better. Their life. It's their life and I'm sure if they could chose what they had and what they didn't, I reckon they wouldn't want the disease. Knowing that someone could be judging them, being at risk of having no friends or anyone to talk too. How would you feel in their position? No one and I mean No One should be put in that position and if I could, I would want to listen to their story and be by their side as much as I can. The lady that adopted those four unique sons I would see as a role model. She wanted the world for those children. Her house was breaking and she was at the point of giving up, the desperate plea to Extreme Makeover was her last chance, they saved and changed all of their lives. It would be an unbelievable experience to be a part of that it's changed the way I see things. They were on the brink of giving up but they have been given, like the lady said "not only a foundation but a foundation of hope"
Hope can be just as strong as the strongest medicine there is out there.
~Soph.
New years. What comes to mind when someone says those two words... Party? Fireworks? Family gathering? Signing? The good ol' Alcohol? Or the strangest resolutions?
All of those mixed together with the odd argument and/or injury is the best way to sum up our celebration of new years.
'Party' wouldn't be the best way to describe our house at new years, unless you call the four of us with the occasional visitor, party food, party drinks and the odd themed napkin. It sounds sad but it's actually quite enjoyable at times.
Fireworks? There's always the yearly show of the bright, beautiful and slightly bemusing fireworks. The Bright colours blur together creating a neon picture normally illuminating every nook and cranny within our living room. Normally the show blinds us for a second or two, after this we would normally mentally curse ourselves because we are left with a blind spot in our eye.
Family Gathering. Our family normally spends new years together, we either go round our cousin's for a few hours or they come to ours. During this time we get the chance to watch a film, have the family debate and the odd occasional injury like I mentioned before. - if the injury happened on Christmas, like it did this year, It's not really likely to happen on new years. Now that I've said it I've probably jinxed it.
The traditional singing of the song is never forgotten. My family always gets in a small circle, joins arms and starts belting out the song, the only problem is I don't know the words, normally I resort to half singing, half humming things that sound like the actual words of the song. I should really start to learn the real words to the song, but the only problem is... I will forget them within the space of a few minutes.
The good ol' Alcohol is normally drunk before new years, normally Christmas, however this year we have quite a lot left over. I'm not really fussed about the alcohol; I'm more concerned about the food. I will eat most of the food there is without complaint. My mother will normally shout at me because of how much I would eat, then I mentally kick myself because I would've broken my new years resolution in the space of 5 minutes.
New years resolution. The new years resolution is the excuse to start something for no reason at all. example: Dancing, joining the gym, loosing weight, start a new hobby or talent or just keep doing what you're doing. The oddest new years resolution I've heard so far would be: giving up crisps. - but it's a good idea due to how unhealthy they actually are. - Giving up Chocolate. - That would be impossible to me because I would get upset then feel even worse not being able to resort to one of my best friends, food. -
or, like my friend mentioned, learn elfish. - I don't quite know why you may want to do this but it actually appears quite nerdy yet pretty awesome. Can you imagine talking to your friends in a language very few know? Sounds so cool to be honest. We have a whole life plan set out to learn this, we were actually amazed when she said it and the idea sparked off into many different ideas, so we're nerdy. Yes, we like 'Lord of the Rings.' but we think it will be so fun to try.
My new years resolution this year would be join the gym and take up a Zumba class and eat less and take up more time writing and try harder on GCSE's and Get the best possible grades to my potential and do things for myself more often... hopefully, It's worth the try. The reason as to why I would like to join the gym is simply because I want to get more into shape whereas the reason I would like to join Zumba because I like the thought of a more upbeat dance something to be a challenge to work with. The rest of the resolutions? well, they would be to set my life up and give me the best possible advantage. Spending time on myself, giving me independence.
What would your resolution be? What would you do about it?
~Soph.
Art comes in many shapes, forms and sizes. It blows my mind and many others, I'm sure. I'm a complete sucker for art, things ranging from dance, singing or sculptures.
The reason why I love art isn't only because you can look at it and interpret it the way you want to or the way you actually see it, but you can also express any strong or hidden emotion in art.
The one form of art I love the best though would be tattoos. I'm not a fan of needles, in fact I hate them. However the art that comes out of the designs created by the artists simply stun me.
Below you can see a design of the Cheshire cat. The nuances within this design causes me to stop and examine every detail within the picture.
But what happens when art goes wrong?
People may fall over within dance or even the worse case fall off the stage but most injuries can be fixed. It's the same with singing and getting the notes wrong but you can soon sort yourself out and carry on. With tattoos they are permanent. People do go through regret and often question as to why they have got it, maybe the cause was to annoy someone or having a little alcohol.
So why get it or do it?
I think like any other art the stimulus has to have a true meaning to you, whether it's an action, a saying, a song or even an memory.
If I get a tattoo - that my mother would probably hate/despise - I would choose something that would remind me of my Grandma. It would mean a lot to me and remind me that she is always with me. I would probably pick a butterfly. The butterfly would be a symbol of freedom and being in control of my own wings. This would show that I'm able to reach things that I want by simply setting my mind to it, or in the butterflies case fly to it. The butterfly would be an outline of white and shaded using a variety of baby pinks. The colours are linked in with a nickname my grandma used to call me.
To this tattoo I would link in different things that remind me of my other family members. A vibrant coloured flower behind the butterfly for one of my grandads, he spent most of his hours in the garden caring for the flowers like they were small individual babies. A small steam engine would be another way to symbolise my other Grandad, as he loved them so much. My mother and aunties used to be taken along to small fairs full with engines and apparently he was fascinated by them.
Obviously, I would take the time to think about the perfect design and debate whether I should or not get it. If I did I would have to look at a variety of different designs that would hopefully be created by tattoo artists because my drawings can be a bit terrible at times... I would also need to think about the needles. If I don't get a tattoo, I would definitely want a large painting dedicated to them, it would be original hopefully to show each of them as the unique individuals that they were.
People have different opinions on tattoos and that is mine. What's your opinion, should they have a deeper meaning than what they are? Or should the art paint thousands of words in your head and be interpreted that way?
~ Soph.
We all go through stages of hearing things and thinking about it, whether it's songs, words/conversations or just odd noises.
Visiting a small village in Turkey we experienced a noise that was unfamiliar to us.
When we stepped outside the airport we were greeted by a wall of heat - even though it was like 3am. - we didn't hear much noise apart from the traffic and the odd shouts or car horns, bearing in mind this was in the city about 34598374598711 miles away from where we actually were meant to be and stay.
Setting off in an old banger type car. - Yes, an old banger car that was too kindly labelled as 'trusty' and 'cute/smart' by my mother's partner. It was the opposite, I would describe it as a car that was old. Extremely old. Probably not to be trusted either. It looked like it would break down as soon as you moved 3 feet forward or less. Luckily it didn't though and it lasted, only just, for the week, even surviving the torturous drive up the cliff. - We drove along the edges of cliffs at three in the morning, avoiding fallen boulders and rocks and the odd branch in the middle of the road. We occasionally stopped for the obvious toilet and food break and then carried on, I slept most of the way because I was shattered and it was rather boring.
After the exhausting drive to the village 34598374598710 miles away we then had to travel a further mile to find the hidden villa. Driving up every driveway we saw, small dangerous lanes and into the odd angry farmers house, with the farmer parading around in his discoloured pajamas shouting abuse at our lights, then I think he realized we were English and went back inside to bed. - Confused? I was. - it took us about 2 more hours to find the villa that appeared to be just around the corner from the farm. Honestly, I don't know how we missed it.
Getting out the car a noise went off, it was something that barely any of us has ever heard before. The noise was a cross between a balloon being scraped with hands and an deep voice humming. It was so odd. It turned out to be crickets. Millions of crickets around us. Once one cricket made a noise, the whole colony started. It was annoying to start with but sitting by the pool with dragon flies landing next to you and the singing crickets around you, I felt it relaxing but it seemed to morph into the background and harmonized with the on-going calls of the birds and goats, oh, and the farmers shouts at the cows.
Returning from the holiday my mother went to work. She had taken part in a leadership course dictated by the people she worked for and they tought her how to listen. Sounds strange but the odd minor detail we miss daily add up. What we hear is not always what is being said. There is sometimes somethings that are under the words, unsaid but still noticable. When she got in, she was really inspired to show us because it reminded her of the noise in Turkey, it showed her the true meaning of listening carefully and inspired her and all of us. It was shockingly weird. Take a listen to it and see what you think, it blew my mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujBTOPhGLMo
~ Soph.
Christmas is the time of year, no doubt, when most rolls of wrapping paper, sellotape and gift tags are sold.
Getting ready, wrapping presents, decorating the tree, even cooking the cakes for the family gets tiring. - They do their own things to prepare for Christmas, mine was to bake the cake, decorate the Christmas tree and sort out my presents and who they were going to. -
The best part of my jobs would be decorating the tree. I get to 'style' it how I want it to be, with the colours I want and the decorations in certain places. - If any of my family touched or changed the decorations or even insulted it I would have launched a 'festive' miniature Christmas tree at them.
The worst? The worst would definitely be wrapping the presents, although I enjoy wrapping square objects or things in a box, wrapping odd shapes like pentagons and circles are just plain frustrating to me. Either the wrapping paper admits defeat by ripping or I do and resort to getting my mother's help - I hate to do this because she seems to have the technique to do it quickly and efficiently whilst making it look easy.
Wrapping my closest friend's presents is what I had most difficulty with. I used a whole roll of wrapping paper on about 7-8 presents. Multiple pieces on two due to the awkward shape of the container. Not only did the paper appear to be giving in but the sellotape wasn't even starting. - The end of the sellotape is evil to find, it blends in too well. Once it's found I will normally cut off about ten small pieces and put it down then curse at myself because I will have to spend at least twenty minutes trying to find it again. - Whilst enduring all this tediousness of the paper then the sellotape, my cat is sprawled out on my bed with it's taunting eyes fixed on my movements. The smug look made me want to throw a piece of paper at it, mainly to distract it for a few moments. Having all my family presents sorted, I needed to focus on the last one. This was by far the worst present to wrap I have ever come across. The hexagon shaped container made holes every single time in the paper, no matter how many layers I used. I was close to admitting defeat until I thought about a routine of doing things.
Maybe that's all I need in the future, a routine to set me on my way, what do you think? Yes? No? Oh well it works for me.
~ Soph.
Sitting on the table and listening to the yearly blasts of Christmas music, I thought about many different things. Mainly things to do with make up designs, books, lives and my life in general.
Thinking about the ins and outs of my experiences as a 16 year old I've begun to notice a pattern of me "Fixing things"
Seeking out the problems I find, I feel the need to make people feel better. Often I will see someone annoyed or upset and find out every detail and piece the puzzle together then explain to them what they could do and things that they might do to make them feel better.
Doing this "Fixing" I have experienced a few problems. One of them are described as "The black holes" Like in one of my other blogs and the others who tend to take it and throw it back in your face in order to seem more accepted. Anger instantly springs into my mind, I don't know about you.
Feeling these negative things again seems to give them power (Once again mentioned in another blog.) over your trail of thought, putting you on a 'Downer.'
When respect pops up though I find it confusing. I know, respect is so easy but what happens when it comes to respecting yourself and how you think?
Respecting my emotions isn't exactly what I do best, I appear to put myself in situations that can make me feel worse than better. Although I find happiness in making others happy, I don't quite know how to do things by myself to make me happy.
Absorbing myself in something to take my focus off another thing is what I would describe as happiness. Making up makeup designs, creating a fabity-fab meal for the family, making marzipan Christmas snowmen, going out with my closest friends or even just going for a walk by myself to give me time to "Zone out" and think about curious things that may pop into my slightly random/odd mind.
Fixing people isn't going to make me happy and in my eyes it would be like a form of anesthetic, it kills the pain off, however after this numbing sensation the pain will be streaming through your veins and mind, playing over and over again until you find a cure to stop this torturous feeling.
My life would be related to a candle. Burning in a certain way can show the emotions. The flame swinging from side to side shows me either an anger or excitement, the slow swaying flame shows a calm or a emotional side however when the flame is actually still it's curious. It doesn't appear to show any emotion within the actual energy or the room. The candle burns at a slow and steady point but in the end it slowly, gracefully and elegantly grows dimmer until it's a small wisp of smoke disintegrating into the air surrounding it.
Living the life that I am currently leading with the habits I have to date, I don't see this happening very quickly. Being 16, I can appear quite impatient but I'm sure everyone can be with somethings. - Opening the biggest present under the Christmas tree can make me impatient to the point of exploding. Others it may be the most special things from that special someone in their life who means a lot. - Changing my life is something I would want to do slowly and make it worth the while. To be able to live the life I want to lead. Whether it's dancing madly in the wind like a mad swinging flame or if it's slowly waltzing around knowing that I've tried my hardest in life.
I would want to have the best possible standards, as would you. This standard would hopefully be set by myself in the future.
The thing is instead of me wanting this, I'm going to have it.
I hope you think the same for yourself.
~ Soph.
Later that day, after watching the horrific film, we went out sledging. Dangerous plan. Looking back at what actually happened and how many bruises we had between us, it was fun but whether or not the pain inflicted on each of us was worth it.. a whole different story, that we all aren't really sure about right now...
