Sitting at my table whilst listening to Michael Jackson, eating chocolate buttons, drinking a glass of Sprite, surfing the internet, a sudden thought popped into mind. - No, a bit of 'MJ' never hurt anyone and music normally helps me with concentration.
Is being 'selfish' a positive or a negative feeling? Two people out of the three I asked, said it was a negative feeling, however they didn't give a reason as to why. The one person who said it was a positive feeling said "Because sharing things doesn't always makes you happy." What would you say? Personally I would agree with saying it's positive feeling.
"What is she on about?" Is what may be running through your mind, look at it this way; how much can you give to someone with out regret? Everything? Half of what you have? A few pounds a month? We all want to give something to someone who needs it more but when is enough, enough?
Someone told me a quote today that had supported my views; Charity begins at home.
In my perspective making someone else happy or listening to their problems, knowing you can help them out, can improve my mood instantly. But sometimes I have the problem of never knowing when enough, is enough. I wouldn't say depression is what comes to my mind. I would say my energy levels are slowly decreasing until I don't .know what to do with myself. A lot like a battery. There are people, who I would describe as 'Black holes' they suck all the energy out of you until you are completely depleted and drained.
I've been told off time and time again by my mother's partner. He repeatedly tells me that I have to work on myself before I try to help others. Getting dragged into all the gossip at school is perplexing. If you help the person who may be seen as the victim, it can cause more drama and debates that will cause you to get dragged in.
Is this a way to be accepted and loved by everyone or are we all living off the drama of life? Where did we learn to act like this, be like this or see like this? Where does it come from? Who taught us and how will we ever find out?
Confronting the past often seems difficult but it helps us move on in the future. Maybe it's time to change our thoughts, who knows.
~ Soph.
